Calm During the Holidays
What is it that changes during the holiday season?
What can I do to stay calm, present, loving, and connected during the holidays?
The Gift of Perspective
One thing that can make a difference is the perspective we look from. We may not be able to change any of the circumstances we encounter during the holidays. But we can always change where we come from internally, especially our mindset and the state of consciousness we choose to approach a situation from.
I want to propose a particular perspective for engaging in the holidays, being around other people, shopping for presents, and taking care of yourself and others.
One thing that changes for most everyone is that we are thinking of more than our usual group of people. In addition, we focus on giving them more than the normal amount of attention. For example, that once-a-year phone call or birthday card.
This means that we allow our love and care for others to increase.
Who we are is nothing but the utmost love, care and respect for everyone, but we don’t always live in our full capacity.
During our day-to-day life we mostly think about and deal with a certain group of people. Our immediate friends and family, neighbors, clients, co-workers.
When we step into more care, that care starts to increase or unfold inside of us. As it expands it pushes up against the things that are blocking it. For example, busyness, self-absorption, being protective around “my time”, and other illusory patterns. This creates an internal disturbance. Because of this push from our true quality of care we might feel agitation, anxiety and overwhelm. We often experience overwhelm because we have a build-up of emotions.
When you look from this perspective it is much easier to decide to make space for more love and care to be there. We can then use our desire to open up the emotional body and release stress. In order to create more space for our care, it becomes essential to open up. Stress, for example, is a constricting force. Tension builds, physically and emotionally, when we don’t release stress.
Ways to Create More Space for Love and Care
Dance – When you feel internal intensity, before it can be interpreted as stress, overwhelm, physical tension and mental anguish – put on a song or two. Dance up a storm. As you dance and move, you might want to use a towel and scream to release. Open up, feel alive and release any buildup of tension and pent-up emotions.
Sing – Instead of, or in addition to screaming into a towel – sing. Sing out loud. Sing your Christmas carols or your favorite song or make up something and use your voice to release bottled-up emotions. Singing might lead to screaming and back to singing.
Let go of obligation – When you feel obligated to “have to” give something to someone – do something to release the constriction that obligation carries. Release until you come back to your natural desire from which you want to give to that person. You might need to scream words into your towel. As you scream let go of feeling obligated and focus on wanting to feel your love and care for that person. Then spend some time thinking about them. Feel your love for them and inquire – what would bring them some joy?
Signs – Put up signs that remind you to do something when you feel one of the telltale signs that an illusory pattern has you in its grips. For example, “Dance when you feel stressed” or “Remember who you truly are gives without obligation”.
Giving Gifts
What can we do about buying presents, wanting to give something to each person during the holidays, and stay out of the familiar stress?
Here is a suggestion: Take some time, even if only 5 minutes to remember that giving is the state that your soul lives in 24/7. Wanting to give, loving and caring is the most natural state. Who we truly are is expansive enough to love everyone, because that kind of love comes from a limitless source, the realm of unconditional love.
Relax and Ask
When you don’t know what to get a person, take a moment – get a cup of tea. Sit down and feel your desire to give to that person. Ask – what can I give to you? Take time for the information to come. Doing it this way you don’t lose your internal connection. Not knowing what to give to someone is not an obstacle unless you make it one.
As you sit there, asking for help, write down the information that comes. You might be surprised what shows up as you allow your love, care and respect for each person to guide you in the process of finding gifts.
Remember that sometimes the answer is to ask someone else. You don’t have to figure it all out yourself. Pick up the phone, connect with a friend or family member and let them give to you by sharing their ideas for gifts.
Your Environment During the Holidays
When our surroundings are clean, uncluttered, organized and debriefed our material life runs much smoother. This supports us to live connected with our true qualities. When we are not set up like this, we can easily get pulled into our material stuff and away from our connection.
Organizing and Debriefing
Debriefing areas of your life brings a flow and lightness into those areas. Organizing, knowing where you can find everything you might need, creates a peaceful feeling. It especially helps to calm the mind, which we need in order to think through so many things during the holidays.
Operating within clarity and from an uncluttered mind increases our capacity to handle life.
How to start?
Start by creating a sample area in your house. Whether it is your bedroom, office, kitchen or a closet – organize and create that area like a sanctuary to provide calm and tranquility when you enter it.
Do one area only so that you have the feeling of succeeding. It takes time before every area is brought up to the same standard, but it is much easier to build on success.
Once you have one area organized and debriefed, every time you look at this area or think about it, you will feel the calm and clarity that it brings to you. It becomes an area of support. Create one area that doesn’t produce stress or anxiety, but is a safe haven for you and your consciousness.
Final Thoughts
We hope that the perspective changes and practical suggestions will support you to live in the spirit of giving. It is part of the essence of who we are. Allow the holidays to become a strong reminder of your essence, and take the steps to bring a calm and peaceful feeling into your environment.
As you choose to live in the preciousness of your internal connection, you will probably be less at the effect of holiday stress. From this place allow the love and care that you carry to overflow to everyone you come in contact with. It is the flow of this love that fills us as we freely give it.